my JourNey...

Love Stories

2010-09-25T06:38:00.001+08:00

Some love stories aren't epic novels,
some are short stories,
but that doesn't make them any less filled with love.
=)

想念

2010-09-07T12:47:00.000+08:00

2010-09-02T12:58:00.002+08:00

i miss having a shoulder to lie on when i'm tired,

i miss the big bear hugs i can claim from you whenever i want to,

i miss pinching your cheeks when you're being stoopid,

i miss holding your hand...

i miss u... (>_<)

but oh wellz, what can i do.

and what if. aye.

Without you..

2010-08-21T14:40:00.001+08:00

Feels so weird here...

no time

2010-08-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

with exactly 7 days left to my stay in Singapore....

it's probably time i start prioritizing...

But it turned out to be harder than i thought,

especially when time is the limiting factor... =(

how

2010-06-20T10:01:00.001+08:00

regathering my thoughts...

how shld i go about doing this...

Given a second chance,

what would i have done?

ain't helping

2010-06-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

very

VERY

pissed off.

if only i knew what to do.

mistakes

2010-06-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

sometimes....it just takes something really small

to ruin everything.

but we all learn from our mistakes...

it's not stupid to make mistakes,

it's just retarded to repeat the same mistake...

如梦一场

2010-06-05T10:47:00.005+08:00

黃小琥沒那麼簡單

沒那麼簡單就能找到聊得來的伴
尤其是在看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安只好強悍
誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單就能去愛別的全不看
變得實際也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單一久也習慣
不用擔心誰也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說得話隨便聽一聽自己做決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在週末晚上關上了手機舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經
想念最傷心但卻最動心的記憶

pmssssss ayez.

internship

2010-05-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

was nodding away looking at the thick stack of papers today in office.

omg i suck.

i MUST find some way to NOT fall asleep during work tmr.

ganbatte!!!!

empty vessels

2010-05-30T09:39:00.002+08:00

"empty vessels make the most noise"

dude, if you ain't got nothing to say,

stop squeaking like you've got the knowledge of the world in you.

you're just making a joke out of yourself.

2010-05-27T07:38:00.002+08:00

back in singapore =)

feels good to be around my family again...

2010-05-11T10:55:00.002+08:00

opened the door to a dark and empty apartment...

everything's gone,

no more towels in the toilet, no more food in the fridge,

no more blanket on the bed, no more tv in the living room...

really miss hearing the laughter coming from the other room....

now all's empty....

hmm. roomies i'm gonna miss you guys soooooo so much!!

2010-05-08T05:25:00.001+08:00

p.s. i love you...

2010-05-04T13:25:00.002+08:00

i feel like i've missed out on a lot

and forgotten much

ever since i stopped taking photos...

so many things happened...

没了

2010-04-29T05:58:00.003+08:00

没有什么好气的了⋯

没有什么好哭的了⋯

也没有什么好说的了。

2010-04-28T06:37:00.002+08:00

all that i know,

is that i wanna go home.

first thing i'll do when i touch down is to cut my hair and eat yummy food! ^^

2010-04-26T13:53:00.000+08:00

the best thing a woman can wear,

is confidence.

2010-04-23T05:10:00.002+08:00

大方⋯

自信⋯

sometimes i feel like i'm wasting my life away when there's so much out there to experience...

2010-04-21T09:54:00.001+08:00

人啊，都是现实的动物⋯

太过天真，只会被周围的野兽给吞食⋯

2010-04-12T00:49:00.002+08:00

Life is difficult,

full of trials,

sorrow,

pain....

but if you fall down,

just stand up straight,

be confident & say....

"WHICH SOTONG PUSHED ME?!?!?!?!?!"

lol its funny how your parents can call you in the middle of the night

to seek your approval about something which they can't decide on

and hear them insist that they're not quarreling XD

心痛

2010-04-08T11:40:00.005+08:00

原来这就是心痛的感觉⋯

果然不好受。

泪流干后，发现自己好傻，

这都是为了什么？

我很想珍惜⋯⋯

明明知道自己会陷很深，却还是决定赌一赌⋯

没有人比我更清楚，时间是非常有限的，

但你似乎不怎么在乎。

就这样⋯一次又一次地失望⋯

我想要你做一切你想要做的事情⋯

因为我知道，这样的你才会是快乐的。

想打消一切自私的念头⋯

却发现自己果然不是神仙，

还是会伤心，生气，难过，无理取闹。

我果然对你期望太高了，

高得可笑，高得离谱，

是不应该的，我太天真了。

尤其是在这个紧要的关头，

我们谁都不可能松懈下来⋯

哎。

呜呜* korrrr where are you boooo*

you promised to be there for me 24/7 one bahhhhx.

thought i'd feel less lonely,

realized that I've only become more so than ever.

2010-04-07T14:09:00.000+08:00

it isn't hard to be happy =)

wf, dun ever forget that =)

=)

2010-03-29T14:32:00.000+08:00

I cant believe what just happened....

what's the point?

2010-03-26T06:12:00.001+08:00

why are we doing this...

perhaps we should stop now.

before things get carried away.

it's d-day

2010-03-18T21:23:00.001+08:00

yes. de last day before de start of my spring break

looking forward to saturday!

cutting my hair n meeting lotsa ppl =)

so excited!!!

*jump jump jump*

2010-03-13T09:44:00.001+08:00

i think i shld stop saying things that i don't mean.

没什么

2010-03-09T15:10:00.002+08:00

今天心情不是很好。

而且好累。

就这两感受了。

嗯。

先闪了。

!?

2010-03-03T05:25:00.002+08:00

sometimes its quite amazing how things can change so fast.

So much so that the past seems unreal.

I don't even know how things turned out this way,

even as I look back now.

what did i do >_<

dude.

2010-02-27T06:26:00.002+08:00

all you do is complain complain complain
what else do you see in this world other than dissatisfaction?
i'm glad i was out of your range of influence
since a long time ago.

请深爱你身边的人，请忘记你最爱的人

2010-02-26T05:49:00.001+08:00

A meaningful article i saw online....

昨天参加了一个关系特别好的女孩儿的婚礼，一直到今天心里都有一种怪怪的感觉。昨天当她和新郎彼此交换戒指深情相拥并发誓爱对方一生一世的时候，我的眼泪差点掉了下来，同样我也看到贱贱的眼圈也有些微微发红。那一刻我们的心情都特别的复杂。开心，喜悦，遗憾，伤感，但更多的是祝福，那一刻真的是百感交集。因为这个女孩是我一个10多年铁哥们儿的初恋女友。在她婚礼的前一天我和他见了面。我问他明天去不去参加婚礼，他很从容的和我开着玩笑，满脸都是不屑的表情，可就在几天前当我告诉他这个女孩即将结婚的消息时，我陪他在马路边坐了整整一个下午，虽然他们已经分开3年了，可是当他提起那些往事的时候仍然会泪流满面。尽管他的身边已经有的别的女孩，尽管他们也已经订婚，可是我知道这份感情是他一辈子都放不下的。

曾经的他们是我们这帮朋友的活宝，曾经的他们深深相爱走过了5年，曾经的他们把彼此的星座纹在了自己的身上，曾经的他们告诉我要当他们婚礼的主持人，曾经的他们可以为了彼此的一个想念从一个城市赶到另外一个城市。可如今我只能祝福她和安慰他。当我昨天在婚礼现场时，当我代表朋友讲话时，当我拥抱新郎时，我多么希望站在我面前的是他而不是“他”。我可以在他们的婚礼上为所欲为，我甚至可以在他们敬酒的时候狠狠的抱着新娘告诉他不把酒喝完我就不松手，可是这一切都只成了幻想。昨天带着相机去，原本想多记录一些幸福美好的画面，可是当我回到家的时候我发现我的相机里只有4张照片，而且都是他们的背影。不是没有心情，而是我答应哥们儿多照些照片给他看，可是我知道如果他真的看到那些瞬间的时候一定会伤心，我真的不忍把那些画面留在相机里。

晚上回家的路上，车里一直放着这首hero ，我拿起手机给他发了一条短信“睡觉吧，做个好梦。”过了很久，他回给了我“我怕我梦到的都是她。”

回到家，我想起几年前，我在上海的姐姐和我在她家聊天时和我说的那些话。姐姐说她曾经和一个男孩彼此深爱7年，可是最后他们分开了，没过多久姐姐就和我现在的姐夫恋爱半年便选择了结婚。姐姐说人这一辈子会遇到很多你爱的和爱你的人，可是真正彼此深爱的只有那一个，可是恰恰就是这两个人往往没办法走到最后。因为彼此太熟悉，熟悉到对方可能就是另外一个自己。当他们在一起时的那种感觉是任何人都给不了的。当时我还不明白为什么这样的两个人不会走到最后，可是现在，也许我懂了。这样的感情是最纯的，没有任何的物质及社会性。可是慢慢的我们都在被世俗侵袭着，都在面对各式各样的诱惑。当身边的这个人熟悉到已经没有新鲜感觉的时候，这份感情会变得如此的脆弱。感情败给了时间，我们败给了现实。曾经的相濡以沫，曾经的海誓山盟一时间竟也变的陌生而遥不可及。

曾经的自己有一个想法，一生只谈一次恋爱，因为我觉得一个人喜欢的女孩都是一种类型。为什么不把自己全部的爱都给她呢，爱情虽然美好，可是同样会很辛苦。我们不如用心去经营一份唯一的爱情，最后把它变为亲情。可是这样唯美的事情又有多少人可以拥有呢。曾经自己不知道如何面对一个最熟悉的人突然间从你的生活中消失，不知道怎样去戒掉那些两个人为爱一起养成的习惯，不知道是否在失去一个人之后还可以勇敢的面对一个人的生活。如今当我的qq号中没有了她，当我把电脑里所有的照片全部删掉，当我把那些回忆的线索整理了整整一个箱子放到我再也看不到的地方，当我不在因为想念而彻夜不眠，当我一个人走过两个人曾经走过的地方，当我不再幻想我们还能走到一起的时候。我忽然明白原来这也叫爱情，原来爱情的结果有两种。“一生要走很多地方，一生只爱你一人”不过是自己的期许罢了。我承认当我昨天看到一对新人在婚礼上幸福的场面时想到了她，想到了我曾经告诉她我们的婚礼一定会与众不同，想到了她和我说要我亲自开着婚车去接她，想到了我答应她把我们的房子设计得像爱琴海一样浪漫，想到她对我说会在婚礼上给我一个深深的吻。可是当我想到这些时她在想什么我却想不到。

时间终究会带走一切，最后的最后，当我们都找到了自己的归属，那个人只能是我们记忆中那个模糊得支离破碎的剪影。

曾经的美好，如今的陌生，未来的淡然。也许这就是我们留给那个自己生命中最深爱的人的全部。那些海誓山盟的永远也许就是没有相交没有终点。

请深爱你身边的人，请忘记你最爱的人。

2010-02-22T10:00:00.001+08:00

1200 calorie diet!!!! O.O

成长的代价

2010-02-21T02:15:00.002+08:00

小的时候，

痛就叫，

开心就笑，

伤心就哭，

生气就闹⋯

不要就摇头，

要就点头，

不喜欢就无情拒绝，

喜欢就不顾一切追求⋯

现在长大了，

摔了几跤, 知道什么是真正的痛了，

痛，却叫不出声，

所以就憋着，忍着，

渐渐忍出病来了，

但病了却无医可求...

于是，我们开始怕了，

小时候的冒险精神逐渐消逝，

把自己用一层又一层的纸包起来，

再用强力胶封锁。

心中的呐喊，外边的人听不到，

明明想要的，却拒绝，

明明讨厌的，却默然接受⋯

压抑，承受，

何必，

又何苦呢？

怎么老觉得我们人类，

就喜欢自虐，

把一切弄得那么复杂，

最后苦的还是自己。

眼神

2010-02-12T05:26:00.001+08:00

一个眼神

底过千言万语？

太神了吧⋯

어떡하죠

2010-02-09T11:31:00.002+08:00

어떡하죠 - 지선

그댄 너무 당연한듯
오늘 내게 안부를 묻네요

난 그저 잘지낸다했죠
그댄 정말 날 너무 모르죠

그대없이도 내가 괜찮을것 같나요
그대는 나 없이 괜찮나요

당신없는 세상이 너무도 힘들어서
숨쉬는 나를 원망했죠

어떡하죠 아직도 난
그대 한마디에 부셔지는
하루를 살아요
그대내게 말해봐요

이러는게 나뿐인지
그대도 나처럼 하루가 아프고 또 아픈지
말해봐요

그대와 난

이미 너무 늦었나요 우리
다시 기회는 없나요

난 아직 그대 생각해요
그댄 아마 알지도 모르죠...

결국 이런건가요 이렇게 끝인가요
그대는 이대로 괜찮나요

난 안될 것 같은데
그대같은 사랑을 죽어도 내겐 없을텐데

어떡하죠 내 마음은
그대 아니면 누구도 안아줄수 없을텐데
제발 나를 잡아줘요
알잖아요 나란 사람 아무리 애써도
그대를 지울수가 없단걸
제발 나를 잡아줘요

어떡하죠 아직도 난
그대 한마디에 부서지는 하루를 살아요
그대 내게 말해봐요

이러는게 나뿐인지
그대도 나처럼 하루가 아프고 또 아픈지
말해봐요

그대와 난 이미 너무 늦었나요
우리 다시 기회는 없나요

난 아직 그댈생각해요
그댄 아마 알지도 모르죠

双面人

2010-02-02T11:42:00.003+08:00

对于自认不能成为朋友的人，

我似乎没有办法放开自己，

特别冷淡⋯

不知是好是坏⋯

总之⋯不够主动吧，

有点儿孤僻⋯

但是对于要好的朋友，

我却特别热情友善⋯

放不开吧⋯

情人节要到了，实在没有什么意义⋯

新年也要到了，不习惯没有家人的新年⋯

有种预感，我又要变回高二时候的自己了⋯

迷失

2010-02-01T01:46:00.004+08:00

有时侯觉得，

自己都不是很清楚自己是个什么样儿的人。

有时侯觉得，

很多烦恼，

相对来说，

无比的微不足道。

2010-01-29T10:07:00.001+08:00

ひとりで死んじゃうかも

泣かないにした日々

just thinking...

2010-01-28T10:26:00.002+08:00

i shld learn to love and cherish those around me...

much more than i do now...

是否又如何

2010-01-19T13:55:00.003+08:00

你不是真正的快乐

五月天

人群中哭著你只想變成透明的顏色

你再也不會夢或痛或心動了
你已經決定了你已經決定了

你靜靜忍著緊緊把昨天在拳心握著
而回憶越是甜就是越傷人
越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深淺淺的刀割

你不是真正的快樂
你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這世界笑了于是你合群的一起笑了
當生存是規則不是你的選擇
于是你含著眼淚飄飄蕩蕩跌跌撞撞地走著

你不是真正的快樂
你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂
你的傷從不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左側卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了然后才后悔著

你不是真正的快樂
你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂
你的傷從不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左側卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了

你值得真正的快樂
你應該脫下你穿的保護色
為什么失去了還要被懲罰呢
能不能就讓悲傷全部結束在此刻
重新開始活著

心⋯

封闭了。

Appreciation

2010-01-19T10:03:00.003+08:00

Gotta Be Somebody
Nickelback

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life,

The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting

will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen

So I'll be holding my own breath right up 'til the end
Until that moment when I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And you know this feels too right
It's just like déjà vu
Me standing here with you

So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end?
Is it that moment when I find the one that I'll spend forever with

*

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know when it shows up
Make sure you're holding on
'Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on

*

This winter break has changed so many things.

I've learnt much from the trip too. =)

sometimes, i feel that

we never seem to be able to truly appreciate the things we have in life,

until we've lost them.

it's just so easy for us to take them for granted.

We take for granted that our friends will always be there for us,

we take for granted that our friends will always forgive us,

we take for granted the smiles of our friends around us,

we take for granted the little acts of kindness shown to us by those who care,

we take for granted the company we have,

we take for granted everything we FEEL, should be there and will always be there.

why do we always do stupid things like that?

if we know we'll regret saying something to someone,

why say it?

if we know that we'll regret doing something,

why do it?

what's so difficult about it?

..........

One day while stoning on the car on our way to some place,

i suddenly realized that,

if i were to be caught in a one-sided love r/s,

i'll rather be the one that's hurt,

than the one hurting the other.

The other girls didn't seem to agree though...

..........

and i also realized,

that i needed a guy who could be patient enough with me,

someone who could interpret my questions correctly,

someone who could give me satisfactory answers.

'coz i'm a girl who thinks a lot and worries a lot,

and it wouldn't help if my bf's someone who jumps to conclusions about me,

'coz that means he doesn't understand me,

and that he couldn't see things from my perspective.

..........

the trip was physically and emotionally draining,

but no pain no gain right?

it is, without a doubt, going to be one of the most memorable winter trips ever,

really appreciate those who were with me on the trip,

coz everyone of them was important

in making this part of my memories ever so precious...

what do i want?

2010-01-07T10:23:00.001+08:00

what do i want in my life?
what's my ultimate goal in life?

eating together as a family

2010-01-06T00:10:00.003+08:00

I'm starting to appreciate the fact that my parents always forced me to sit at the dining table during meals since I was young,..
I'm starting to see why they made it a point to switch off all the TV and computers during meal times...
I'm starting to understand why my mother gets angry when the whole house dispatches to their own "little corner" right after meals...
it may not seem like a big deal to people who are used to eating in front of the TV,
but to me, there's a big difference in the kind of interaction the people have...
the 3 hours that you get at the dining table every day can allow you to know so much more about your family,
how each member's life is going,
how their emotions are changing...
such experience is so much more precious than sitting in front of the tv and discussing some gossip or latest political scandal.

suddenly, i miss my family so much.
the times we spend during meal times just talking and sharing about our experiences and our ideas,
exchanging encouragements and criticisms...
or maybe just discussing how we like a certain kind of food or what we want for supper!
it's a precious 3hours that i'll never exchange anything for.
=)

a little sad...

2010-01-03T13:16:00.003+08:00

you just don't get it..
and why should i bother.
i can't believe that i could be so wrong.
what was i thinking?!

sometimes i think...
i'm really lousy in expressing myself...
'coz people around me just don't seem to get me.
no matter how hard i try to explain,
they still insists that their viewpoint of me is the correct one.
which is kinda funny coz
i don't see why they'll know me better than myself.
but then again, why does it matter?
perhaps it's because i expected too much of those around me,
perhaps it's my lousy communication skills again.

i'm just tired.
i know there's no way to get people to see things from my perspecive,
coz they already have a biased opinion about me,
and it doesn't matter what i say,
as long as it's something that i said,
it's definitely screwed or wrong in some way.

sighz.
i feel so...misunderstood.
and helpless coz i can't clear the misunderstanding.

arghx. whatever.
i just think this winter holiday,
is more tiring and stressful than it should be,
which defeats the purpose of having a holiday in the first place.
i've never shed as many tears as i did in the past few months,
as compared to the past few weeks...
something's just not right.

perhaps i should just keep my thoughts to myself...
coz i don't want the tears that come along with it.
it's too high a price to pay.

2 Matters.

2009-12-31T11:51:00.002+08:00

it's difficult to rebuild a trust
that was broken.
i dont think i'll ever trust you ever again.

and...

why the hell do you care.
it's not like. it matters anyway.

deconfuse thyself pls.

right in the face

2009-12-30T11:08:00.001+08:00

i must admit.
i cant compare.

Moving On...

2009-12-18T13:38:00.002+08:00

This is a post copied and pasted from 夏河's blog...
Thought it was very nice =)

“全世界都知道我等了你很久，但是今天我想我要和我爱的人走向明天了。

也许再没有机会照顾你了，或许这对于你我都算不得遗憾。

这两年风风雨雨，是爱，是恨，是遗忘...都谢谢你曾让我爱过。保重自己。”

放不下2

2009-12-16T14:05:00.002+08:00

decided my kor's reply on my other blog was too nice
so i shall copy it here =)

人非圣贤孰能无过，何必执着，真的放不下就留下好了明白物极必反的道理吧，不是你放不下而是你时常想着怎么去放下结果记忆更加深刻又何来放下之说了呢？顺其自然吧！

so sweet! ^^

2009-12-15T15:36:00.001+08:00

[규현] 그댈 안고서 숨을 멈추니
작은 어깨위에 떨림
마주 느낄 수 있어
[zm] 두눈이 또 묻고있어
이 사랑만을 원하는지
난 그렇다 하겠지
[동해] 세월이 흘러 나이가 들고
그대 검은 머리위에
흰눈이 뿌려진 뒤
[려욱] 나의 두 눈이 흐려져
숨이 멎어 오는 그 순간
함께이길
[sj-m] 사랑 이토록 아름다운 날이
당신이기에 가능 했던 삶이
나 저 세상에 더 큰 기적같은 일
그리고 셀 수 없는 그 약속과
당신을 만난 전날의 삶과
그 향기마저 모두 기억할테니

[시원] 그댈 안고서 숨이 멈추니
붉은 노을위에 온기
마주 느낄수 있어
[한경] 나의 두 눈이 흐려져
나의 숨이 멎어 오는 그 순간
함께이길
[려욱] 사람 이토록 아름다운 말이
당신이기에 가능했던 삶이
내겐 세상에 더 큰 기적같은 일
[zm] 그리고 셀 수 없는 그 약속과
당신을 만난 전날의 그 햇살과
그 향기마저 모두 기억할테니

[henry] 우리에겐 쉽지 않은 세상
아주 잠시라도 멀어질까 두려워
[규현] 차라리 오늘이 나의 삶이 끝나버리는
날이면 헤어짐도 없을텐데(그대)
[sj-m] 사랑 이토록 아름다운 말이
당신이기에 다시 잃은 삶이
이세상에 기적같은일
그리고 셀 수 없는 그약속과
당신을 만난 전날의 그 햇살과
그 향기마저 모두 기억할테니

2009-12-14T02:39:00.000+08:00

突然好想你

2009-12-14T01:23:00.003+08:00

最怕空气突然安静

最怕朋友突然的关心

最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息

最怕突然，听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音

不愿那是悲伤的哭泣

事到如今终于让自己属于我自己

只剩眼泪

还骗不过自己

突然好想你

你会在哪里

过得快乐或委屈

突然好想你

突然锋利的回忆

突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲

变成两部悲伤的电影

为什么你带我走过最难忘的旅行

然后留下最痛的纪念品

我们那么甜那么美那么相信

那么疯那么热烈的曾经

为何我们

还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去

有些歌曲，能够把你心里的话说出来，

有些歌手，能够把你心里的情绪表达出来，

让你觉得，啊，原来世界的某个角落，

也有个人正在跟你经历着同样的事情，

或许你们都在同一个专捏点，

或许你们被困在同一个旋涡里...

哎，塞翁失马，焉知祸福，

想起也不一定是件坏事

放不下

2009-12-13T04:01:00.002+08:00

你好吗你的夜是不是跟我的一样漫长
是不是还把我给你的爱好好戴在手上
要坚强我常常对著镜子裏的人大声讲
虽然说孤独的想一个人好像一种惩罚

MSN上太多的路人甲
偶尔你也该上来说说话
想著你的温柔想著你的模样我放不下
都说过了再见我们各自飞翔各自长大
抱紧爱会挣扎放开爱会心慌神也很忙
到底要实现哪个愿望
离开你那麼傻可以后侮吗

风很大怕你又穿得太少会让自己著凉
我很棒一个人换了灯泡房间变得很亮
每一天发生的事情我都好想要跟你讲
爱很怪什麼都介意最后又什麼都原谅

Ooh 心里最深的牵挂越想遗忘越不能忘

오늘 알았어요,
나는 아직 너를 좋아하고있는것..

너의 사진을 보면서,
슬퍼져요...

너를
잊을수없어...
어떡해?

nice song! (^-^)

그신을 너무좋아해...

2009-12-09T07:23:00.000+08:00

忘了⋯

2009-12-09T05:40:00.002+08:00

was talking to hui-fen yesterday,

and she told me,

"wf! jiayou! do it like you've always done!"

the last time i talked to sandy,

she told me,

"hmm...the wanfang that i know of shouldn't be like that..."

I'm trying hard to relate to what they've said ...

but the wf that they're talking about seem so distant now...

>_<

난왜 이러지?

오늘 잘했어는것

하나도없었어...

스트레스?

以前、ストレスがたくさんある時、

ドラマを見れば、すぐよくなるけど、

今あれはもう効果はなさそうだ。

どうして？

なんか最近いろいろなことを考えているから、

自分がやらなきゃことにあらゆる注意を集中させなかった。

それは良くないんだ。

今天天气很糟，

下了一下午的雨，

转眼间，天就黑了，

心情也跟着变沉重了。

不喜欢这种天气，

也不喜欢脑子空荡荡，

精神恍惚，

眼睛迷茫的自己。

若老爸在身边的话肯定会叫我积极点儿积极点儿。

是的，振作，积极点儿。

反复重复这也似乎没多大用处。

hmm.

no use thinking.

back to work!

해면 안돼,

근데,

너를 안아고싶었어요.

이런 생각 있는 것...

나도 믿을 수없어.

gg

2009-12-05T15:20:00.001+08:00

oh no.

bbb

2009-12-04T03:07:00.000+08:00

wanna

eat

BEE

BIM

BAB!

bee.bim.bab

beebimbab!

a little pissed & hurt

2009-12-03T12:35:00.002+08:00

i tried,

to keep it going,

but this can't be a one-side thing,

and i'm getting sick of your dao-ness

and criticisms,

so i'm giving it a break.

i don't even know why i care so much...

i guess it's just that,

i don't know what made you so different,

after that conversation we had.

you're just.

so different.

and i want the old you back.

eventful day

2009-12-01T11:42:00.002+08:00

Today was an eventful day! ^^

received an sms from minghan in the morning asking if it was snowing

o.0

lolll... erm, random. haha...dint realise he wasnt back yet from his holiday!

Hmm...then i started selling ondeh-ondeh at the quad from 11am onwards...

Was a very fun experience XD

Katrina was happy to see me!

haha... was so embarrassing when we first tried to scream

out into the quad....

everytime she shouted she'll turn back and say "omg"

hahaha... den i went to test out how far her voice could actually travel,

walked almost all the way to follinger and i could still hear her voice clearly!

amazing!

SAF-trained man lol.... then ran back...

met clarissa and went down to buy lunch with her! ^^

after that saw chunmeng and he tried to help but wellx, we were quite phail haha...

the ondeh-ondeh were all colddddd... and hard.... so we started to microwave them.

actually.

why am i saying all these. hmm

i doubt anyone's interested.

so anyway. yeah, in the end we started shouting

"free hot chocolate!!!!" and sure enough, we attracted more ppl LOL

then we asked them if they wanted to donate to the cancer foundation...

the turn out was much better than selling it for real lol

was great.

then i spilled milo on my jeans!!

*shock*

but at least it dint get onto my new cream jacket =)

-contented- wee

more ppl came to join us and i met a lot of ssa ppl today =)

hehe.

stood out in the cold for about 4 hours before going off to class

(came back and realised that my cheeks were red/pink! ><

hurt a bit when i washed my face eek*)

stayed back to see hwanghwang and what's his name....

er....i know his name...er....gosh...wat's his name....ermmm.

*pause*

*longer pause*

erm. YES

sean. yes.

erm. yeah! ^^ so hwanghwang was like *pats me on the arm

and i looked at him and asked "what"

and he was so disappointed! lol. coz he was like,

he did the same thing to sean and sean asked him how his thanksgiving break was,

say hi to me and he got a "what"

lol.

oh wellx.

wanted to get ruler from walmart but realised that walmart dun have short rulers!

wanted to do sth at busey but realised that busey was closed!

booz.

left walmart and met meiling! ^^

den met dee!!! ^^

den got a hat from dee! ^^

so happy!

gosh i'm getting retarded lol.

invited meiling dee and walter over for dinner at IT

and jieyee invited nic huiqing and allan =)

We had really good food! and i think i overate again ><

oh nooooo.

the fire alarm went off half way through the meal

and we were all like "gosh this cant be real" but freak it was ><

so we left the dining hall and stood outside in the cold!!!

ahhhh haha....went back in later after the fire engines and police cars left...

to realise that we're locked out of the dining hall!

but it opened up after a while! ^^

there was no way anyone could tell who was having dinner before the alarm

and who was new

so i bet lotsa ppl sneaked in along with the crowd as we flocked back into the dining hall XD

wellx, walter ate a lot and he was so full he couldnt talk,

like, literally, no joke XD

met huiqing and nic and allan! was so happy! ^^

was talking to huiqing while we took food and we kept obstructing the traffic

coz we tend to stand in the middle of nowhere and chitchat and forget what we were there for

lol.

hmmmm.

another happening day at uiuc~ ^^

不够

2009-11-29T10:18:00.002+08:00

若不够爱⋯⋯

就无须逼着自己

去相信自己总有一天会爱上一个人。

压力

2009-11-28T07:11:00.002+08:00

发现最近压力有点大，

很郁闷，

真的不想去想它那么多，

但却控制不了自己，

越想越气，

越想越难过，

闷在心里都快喘不过气来了。

你们这些给予本小姐压力的东东：

走着瞧，俺一定想办法一一将你们铲除！

气死我了气死我了气死我了！！！

(>_<)

不好⋯⋯

2009-11-26T11:06:00.003+08:00

梁文音- 哭過就好了

詞:姚若龍曲:陳小霞

不喜欢怀疑什么并不表示我没有感受

看你微妙的变化慢慢不同

我不是生气只是心痛⋯⋯

最讨厌被误会了但越解释越觉得难过

你可以说人会变但不能说

你会这么做⋯⋯

是我的错⋯⋯

哭过就好了伤都会好的
这样相信所以深呼吸着割舍

爱是为了拥抱为了牵手

不是为了争吵为了调头

哭过就好了痛都会走的

记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的

失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩

还是谢谢你让我长大了⋯⋯

越多美好堆叠的过往

想忘就得推倒更大的悲伤

要找勇气却不在口袋或手上

但它一定在我身上某个地方

下次⋯

2009-11-19T16:04:00.002+08:00

“下次再去吧”

“下次再说吧”

“下次⋯⋯”

我们每次说“下次”的时候，

是否曾想过，

或许已经没有“下次”了？

就这样吧

2009-11-18T04:31:00.005+08:00

男女之间有可能存在那种致死的纯真友谊吗？

那种单纯的，非常非常要好的朋友的关系吗？

似乎，许多声称自己拥有这种友谊的人，

都不知道对方其实一直都在默默地为自己无私地付出着⋯

或许他们只是装作不晓得，

默默地接受着对方的爱护与照顾⋯

通常，

一个人同时会是这个复杂关系的受害者，

及被爱的一方⋯⋯

说得浪漫一点，这叫做多角恋。

说白了点儿，它不过就是一群人之间的彼此虐待。

因为我们都是自私的。

因为我们都放不下⋯

无法割舍对于他的爱，

无法从此对他不再依赖⋯⋯

似乎两者都不能失去，

但又不能奢求两者都同时拥有，

最后搞得每个人都遍体鳞伤。

看过流星花园的人，

都不会忘记花泽类这个角色，

他对于女主角的付出让每个女生痴迷、心动。

但越看越觉得，这角色从头到尾就是个悲剧，

一生似乎只有付出，而没有被爱的命运，

有谁又能够体会他的感受呢？

或许，为心爱的人付出，

也是幸福的一种吧？

我原本以为，我是没有勇气做到这一点的⋯

但现在想起来，

原来已经为他付出这么久了啊⋯

过程中必定会有酸甜苦辣，

快乐指数也有上有下⋯

不时欺骗自己：“为了让他开心，就算得同时伤害自己，也值得。”

孩子，别傻了，

那不值得，

那是流逝的青春，

再也没有办法回头了。

傻吧你，太傻了。

常被问到：为什么？

似乎有点懂了⋯

她已不敢去相信，不敢去付出，

她踏不出那第一步⋯⋯

因为过去的种种让她发现，没有了他，

她也许会快乐一些⋯⋯

至少，她无须再为了某个谁伤心流泪⋯

无须在被他问起理由的时候，

以最胡扯的答案敷衍而过。

在来美国之前，我告诉自己，

距离会让伤口痊愈⋯⋯

最近忙得翻天覆地，

发现忘记你并没有想像中那么难。

可能我从没喜欢过你。

问起我现在得生活，我并没有多说，

因为我宁愿听你诉说你生活中的种种经历，

似乎听到你兴奋的语气，我的心情也会变得好起来。

这里真的没什么特别的，

我还是我，少了点沉默，多了点欢笑，

但这都不重要，

因为我不想让你知道⋯

我不想给你机会踏入我的内心世界⋯

那不是你该去的地方⋯

我们之间，

就这样吧 (^-^)

on a side note, i think Vivian Hsu's really pretty.

what do you say

2009-11-17T07:47:00.002+08:00

what do you say,

when people ask you,

"what happened?"

when you really don't know...

what happened?

pon-ing class

2009-11-10T03:10:00.001+08:00

note to self:

when you dislike a class,

it's most probably because you're not doing well in that class,

==> all the more, you should go for the class and not pon. =)

ok. fine.

为了什么

2009-11-06T10:34:00.000+08:00

为什么要在乎？

有必要吗？

那些花儿

2009-11-05T14:08:00.003+08:00

那片笑声让我想起我的那些花儿
在我生命每个角落静静为我开着
我曾以为我会永远守在她身旁
今天我们已经离去在人海茫茫

她们都老了吧
她们在哪里呀
啦........ 想她
啦........ 她还在开吗
啦........ 去呀
她们已经被风吹走
散落在天涯

有些故事还没讲完那就算了吧
那些心情在岁月中已经难辨真假
如今这里荒草丛生没有了鲜花
好在曾经拥有你们的春秋和冬夏

她们都老了吧
她们在哪里呀
我们就这样
各自奔天涯

my pov on this.

2009-11-04T22:58:00.001+08:00

3 month old babies,

wearing bikinis and make up,

dancing in a club.

i wanna be the sunshine =)

2009-11-04T01:14:00.002+08:00

If there is already so much sadness around you,

what good would it be if you added on to it?

I'd rather be your sunshine,

the one that brightens your day,

and makes it all so different.

it's a choice, really.

what would you do?

2009-10-29T19:57:00.003+08:00

sometimes, i feel quite helpless 'coz i don't know what to do

to help my friends who're down...

..especially when she goes around announcing that to everyone...

and would rather look for others for comfort...

I feel quite helpless but what can i do?

I guess i just don't give her the kind of reassurance that she needs... (>_<)

Skyped with Brittany yesterday and realised that we're very much in the same kind of situation,

would really really wanna talk to her again coz it seems that i've been through a little bit more than her and can help her skip past all the shit...but i'm really glad she felt better after i talked to her for a while...

Was looking at all the messages ppl wrote to me yesterday,

"sunshine girl" and "hyper" and all sorts of really happy terms came popping up,

it's like this image that i'm not really familiar with,

but somehow stuck in people's minds....

i guess it's just coz I'm not someone who enjoys sharing my sorow,

i would rather swallow it all by myself and present myself as a happy person

'coz past experiences told me that people often cannot accept it when my mood suddenly changes...

which isn't unreasonable...

we all get uncomfortable with things we're not used to aren't we?

but it's really rather mentally tiring to maintain the highness and when i get back home,

i just wanna drop into a zero-emotions mode.

not having to entertain or all-smiles in any way...

at the very least....home is where i can be myself...

but hey,

i'm not at home.

and i won't be for a very long time...

so i'd have to find some way around this...somehow.

Meanwhile, i still feel that people around me are very nice

and that i've been receiving lotsa love and care and forgiveness from everyone,

i guess that's something to be really happy about =)

gotta rush off to class~ bye bloggy... ^^

will be some time before i talk to u again =(

don't miss me k!

never put all your eggs in one basket

2009-10-23T07:01:00.003+08:00

i knew i made the wrong decision,

i relied too much on you,

so much so that,

あなたはいない時全然笑えなくなちゃった。

ギブアップしたい。

if it's gone,

it was probably not meant to be in the first place.

always remember

2009-10-21T09:10:00.002+08:00

i must remember

that i'm here to have fun

and to make the best out of these four years =)

Happy?

2009-10-14T12:10:00.002+08:00

Hmm realised today that i've made many friends in UIUC...

Had been in an ultra high mood for almost the whole day today

wonder if it's because i drank coffee...

occurred to me recently that perhaps,

you didn't want to ruin our friendship,

so you kept it from me...

wellx, have never thought of it that way before but

it doesn't really matter anymore i guess.

All's well and everything's fine,

i'm getting homesick and that's about it.

Feeling the stress from homework and u feel so lonely and empty

whenever you wanna reach out to someone but u realise that he/she's not there.

But many people have been nice to me recently,

and i think i should be grateful for it.

people lending me their umbrellas to get to class dry...

people getting out of their comfortabe dorms and taking the bus to have dinner with me....

people fetching me home when i can't finish my work at night,

people caring for me when they see me in stress mode...

these little things always surprise me,

and convince me that i should be grateful for having all these nice people around me,

and that i should be nice to them too,

that i should spread even more love and joy around =)

cheerios to another good week,

i hope i have fun.

哭过就好了

2009-10-08T11:48:00.002+08:00

哭过就好了－梁文音

不喜欢怀疑什么

并不表示我没有感受

看你微妙的变化

慢慢不同

我不是生气只是心痛

最讨厌被误会了

但越解释越觉得难过

你可以说人会变

但不能说

你会这么做，是我的错

哭过就好了

伤都会好的

这样相信所以深呼吸着割舍

爱是为了拥抱为了牵手

不是为了争吵为了掉头⋯⋯

nice song =)

a long day~

2009-10-02T14:26:00.002+08:00

last night, after my exam, at 9pm,

my senior took me for a drive in this really deserted place in the middle of nowhere.

really appreciated his company coz I wanted very much to literally extract myself from whatever situation i was in and just think a bit.

too many things have been happening lately and i must admit,

the homesickness is starting to sink in.

of course, there's anger, disappointment and stress behind those tears too.

the moon was really bright that night, or so he insists lol.

hmm got back at around 12.30 at night...slept at 1+ and woke up at 7 this morning. zz...

i was enlightened about quite a few things actually,

so i started off today telling myself that no matter what, i'll be happy =)

that i'll be optimistic,

and that i'll make the people around me happy too =)

after which, i realised that it's much easier to do almost everything!

even to stay awake during class! ^^

so....thanks to peiyi for his company......and his car's sacrifice :p

i shall learn to be an optimistic and happy girl ^^

and yeap thanks leo for ur concern!

u're like the only reader of this blog LOL. but really appreciate it too =)

nice friends like u are hard to come by~

Tears...no more.

2009-10-01T13:05:00.001+08:00

i think i cried out all the tears i had left in me today.

after today, i shall be happy.

it's a choice, it really is.

and while i'm at it, i shall make ppl around me happier too =)

gogogo! ^^

依赖

2009-09-29T09:30:00.001+08:00

我不想依赖你⋯⋯

因为那只会让我变得很脆弱⋯

我该开始习惯没有你的日子了⋯

Missing U"

2009-09-28T21:07:00.002+08:00

was at walmart the other day...

and saw some cards under the "sympathy" section,

decided to look at some of them...

and i guess the main thing they were trying to bring across was that

though you may be sad for a period of time,

but after all the sorrow and pain,

all of that will get replaced by wonderful memories that you guys had together,

which will stay with you for the rest of your life.

it'll take time though.

don't say things you don't mean,

dont make promises you can't keep.

don't bring my hopes up,

just to let me down.

离别

2009-09-21T12:15:00.002+08:00

虽然天下无不散之宴席，

但离别总会是充满感伤的。

而最另我讨厌的

就是连最后一面都见不到的,

突然的离别⋯⋯

though i know you're definitely at a better place now,

i'll still miss you...

i don't know what to say....

it's just sad coz i know you're no longer here,

and i'll never see you ever again.

そばにいて？

2009-09-18T09:20:00.000+08:00

そばにいるね - 青山テルマ

※あなたのこと　私は今でも思い続けているよ
いくら時流れて行こうと　I'm by your side baby いつでも
So.　どんなに離れていようと
心の中ではいつでも一緒にいるけど　寂しいんだよ
So baby please　ただ hurry back home※

△Baby boy　あたしはここにいるよ　どこもいかずに待ってるよ
You know dat I love you　だからこそ　心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても変わらないよこの心
言いたい事わかるでしょ?
あなたのこと待ってるよ△

んなことよりお前の方は元気か?　ちゃんと飯食ってるか?
ちくしょう、やっぱ言えねぇや
また今度送るよ　俺からのLetter

過ぎ去った時は戻せないけれど　近くにいてくれた君が恋しいの
だけど　あなたとの距離が遠くなる程に　忙しくみせていた
あたし逃げてたの
だけど　目を閉じる時　眠ろうとする時　逃げきれないよ　あなたの事
思い出しては　一人泣いてたの

不器用な俺　遠くにいる君
伝えたい気持ちそのまま言えずに　君は行っちまった
今じゃ残された君はアルバムの中

アルバムの中　納めた思い出の
日々より　何げない一時が　今じゃ恋しいの
And now　あなたからの電話待ち続けていた
携帯にぎりしめながら眠りについた
あたしは　どこも行かないよ　ここにいるけれど
見つめ合いたいあなたのその瞳
ねぇわかるでしょ?　あたし待ってるよ

俺はどこも行かないよ　ここにいるけれど　探し続けるあなたの顔
Your 笑顔　今でも触れそうだって思いながら手を伸ばせば　君は

2009-09-14T00:23:00.000+08:00

am not going to act happy and alright anymore.

dont wanna appear sentimental.

that's it.

我的天空今天有点灰

2009-09-11T10:32:00.003+08:00

dont feel very happy these few days

perhaps i'm too used to talking to some of my closest friends when i face problems

or it's coz there are those specific people i look for when i wanna spew garbage

or when i wanna talk abt serious stuff

or when i need mature advice....

or when i just want a listening ear...

someone who understands...

but they're so far from me now, and technology's not helping due to the time lapse.

i guess i have to grow up and learn to face things myself,

do things in a more mature way.

every day's fine actually,

it's just that you feel so lost at the end of the day.

you feel like nothing has happened and no one's really "there" for you.

i guess it takes a while to feel like you're not the only one,

that there's some people for you here too..

but i don't like opening up to people i'm not that familiar with,

it takes me quite a while to trust someone i guess.

and when someone breaks that trust,

it really hurts.

跟妈妈的一同电话

2009-09-01T06:39:00.001+08:00

我需要变得更坚强

what if

2009-08-31T20:50:00.002+08:00

what if i changed.

will things be different?

Feeling kinda down~

2009-08-29T14:06:00.002+08:00

自己一个人的时候，

不知怎的，

眼泪就会往下流

⋯⋯

我不应该这样的。

一切都会过去的吧⋯

꼭은 아니더라도

2009-08-28T21:13:00.003+08:00

꼭은 아니더라도 아주 우연히 라도
문득 스치듯 떠오를까요
많이 모자라지만 잠시라도 그댈 웃게 했던 나

서툰사랑에 아파서 깨지만
좋은 기억이 없었다면
한번쯤은 떠 오르겠죠

나를 닮은사람만나면 그땐 기억할까요
나와 듣던 노래 듣는다면 기억할까요
내이름과 같은사람 만나면 그땐 기억할까요
꼭은 아니더라도 한번은 나를 기억해-줘요

요즘은 어떤가요
그대안부를 묻죠
이런내말을 듣게 된다면
나를잊었더라도 혹시 나를 떠올릴수 있을까

한순간이라도 행복했다면
내가 그이유가 된다면
한번쯤은 떠오를테죠

나를 닮은사람 만나면 그땐 기억할까요
나와 듣던노래 듣는다면 기억할까요
내이름과 같은사람 만나면 그땐 기억할까요
꼭은 아니더라도 한번은 기억해줘요

나는 다르죠

그댈 닮은사람 없어도 나는 그댈 기억하니까
어디서든 무얼해도 나는 기억하니까
그대 이름 같은사람 없어도 나는 기억하니까
내가 숨쉬는동안은 그대 기억하니까
나는...

=(

first few days in the USA

2009-08-23T06:59:00.002+08:00

ok, got like 30 minutes to get this entry done before i have to leave for dinner with jacob's parents lol. dont really know why they're treating us but i'm still happy that i get to eat dinner with SOMEONE rather than eating alone.

ok, let's start tracing back to the past few days.

hmmmm.....

i actually started tearing once i left my house in my dad's car.

i know many ppl cry like siao when they leave and i knew i was going to cry like siao

but somehow i was trying to hold it in.

and i must say, i was really good at it.

cant thank those ppl enough for coming to send me off coz i know wat a horrible timing it was.

esp ppl who werent free on that day or who had something on after that.

was at the gates preparing to go in already when wenjian FINALLY arrived,

but my mind was in a mess already. i was lugging on onto all these crazy luggages,

barely surviving and there was already that last call for passengers to board my flight,

had no time to think and dint dare to look back so i gave everyone a hug and went for the gates without turning back...

had much difficulty lugging all the stuff onto the plane and into my seat which was all the way at the back of the plane, even dropping my jacket and luggage on the way...

good thing was this guy behind me was gentlemanly enough to help me put my luggage up and i was finally seated.

and that's when i started crying like mad.

the tears just kept flowing and flowing.

all these seem a little distant now coz i'm rather settled in already.

transitted at hongkong and then chicago

travelling alone was really an experience of a lifetime.

i'd rather not have travelled alone but i was left with no choice.

all the way on the plane i was worried about my luggages, since UA had this tendency to lose luggages....and crashing their planes....apparently....

there was no one to lean on to for comfort and i just had to be all strong and cool abt it.

i guess the flight from hk to chicago was the worse. fell asleep umpteen times throughout the 14 hours flight since the flight entertainment bored me more than entertained me.

there were movies and all these shows abt the end of the world which dint help AT ALL.

resorted to listening to music and trying to fall asleep but the "radio" they had was replayed so many times that i could almost tell which song was coming up next. wth....

saw a sunset and a sunrise den another sunset and another sunrise on my way to chicago.

but the jet lag dint sink in until i was on my way to champaign.. i fell asleep during the 50minutes ride..

met jieyee at the airport and we were then fetched to our dorms...

it's really expensive living here but i guess having our own bathroom, our own kitchen, our own living room, fridge, tv etc. makes me feel better =) living here is comfortable after all.

felt like puking when i was at the chicago airport coz american food just doesnt appeal to me. was hungry but only bought snapples which dint help. hmm.

ok. got into our room and slept there alone for the night coz jieyee hasnt got her bedsheet yet so she went to sleep in her parents' hotel for the night....what an experience. sleeping with a big mirror looking right at you. O.O

but i was too tired so after unpacking all my stuff (except for clothes), i took a shower and went straight for the bed. (which was nice =) )

hmm. our roommates are really nice ppl =)

they filled up the fridge and the cupboard with food. lolx and well cleaned up the whole place before we came. we only got to talk like on the third night. and realized that they're really nice ppl. the ppl here are generally quite nice, very helpful and gentlemanly, but there are always extremes...like the other day, this guy made fun of me and jieyee at the cafeteria and this whole table of ppl were laughing at us. sighx* but other americans i have met so far were really nice and friendly. and i guess i have to get used to the "open-ness" here. like the other day, i opened my room door and saw this other guy sleeping on my roommate's bed. den i opened the main door and saw ANOTHER guy in his blankets. then guy B went for guy A on the bed, both of them rather drunk...wellx, my roommate told me she called guy B over to get guy A out of her bed lol. den the next morning, i wake up and again, saw guy A and B sleeping in the lounge outside my room...with their mattresses. like. what are beds for? well apparently casey and loren only slept in their bed ONCE since they moved in here o.0 lolx...but they're really nice guys, though i still cant really recognize their faces and much less tell them apart. i guess they feel the same for us too XD

hmmm as for the place...

it's really nice here. the weather changes rather drastically.

like it'll be sunny with no dark clouds in the sky and all of a sudden, it'll be raining.

either that OR,

you'll be coming out of the bookstore, u see that it's pouring outside the bookstore and many ppl are waiting for the rain to stop. you collect your bag, keep ur stuff into ur bag and u turn around to see that the rain has stopped alr. o.0

either that OR,

you drive for a few kilometers and the sky suddenly changes colour. you go back to ur dorm and realised that a tornado was on its way.

....

ok. as for school.

school hasnt started.

but i had an exciting time walking around campus alone today.

realised that i could accomplish a lot more things alone and i like the efficiency.

i'm starting to get used to this "angmoh-land" and wellx...

as for boyfriends.

that's a totally different matter.

i guess wat's more important now is how i'm going to get myself safely back home after my classes at night. ><>

please pray for me

LOL

决定恋爱关系的方法

2009-08-13T10:49:00.000+08:00

第一个：　
　　睡前打电话。　　　　　　
　　他：我睡不着。　　　　　　
　　我：想什么呢？　　　　　　
　　他：因为你不是我的。　　　　　　
　　我：那你现在可以安心睡了……

第二个：　
　　在一个星期五的早晨，刚睡醒，在床上发短信聊天，突然来一句“做我女朋友吧”！傻掉……这个时候脑袋里冒出来一句哪里看到的话：我牙还没有刷呢！然后就谈到现在，三年了~

第三个：　
　　他把自己灌醉，我把他拖上TAXI，问他家在哪他装醉不出声，结果只好拖到我家，把他扔床上。我在沙发上躺着看了一夜电视，到天亮跑进房一看，他还是昨晚那个姿势，估计真醉了。我决定不委屈自己，凭啥女生睡沙发啊，我爬上床趴在他身边的空地上准备补眠。可耳朵居然隔着床垫听到他打雷一样的心跳声，这小子居然装睡！

第四个：　　
　　中学同学，他是班长。毕业吃散伙饭的时候他拿着话筒说了一堆客套的废话，然后左手顺手一拉扯住我，当着老师同学的面说“作我女朋友吧”，我下不来台，加上确实也不讨厌他，就糊里糊涂答应了。
　　这厮过了好几天才跟我说，拉错人了，要拉的是另一个MM（我和他的共同好朋友），不过会对我负责的。天地良心，当时我和他什么都没发生。现在结婚3个月了。

第五个：　
　　每年问几次：让我照顾你好么？问到第5年，实在扛不住了，短信回之：好。他立刻昭告天下，通知了几乎所有老同学。
　　结果我大半夜收到无数嘲笑短信：俩大龄青年玩初恋，还好意思拿出来炫！

第六个：　
　　一直都是好朋友，有一年我面对工作危机非常恐慌，于是短信跟他诉苦，最后问：要是我没工作了，跟你蹭饭行不行？没想到他马上打电话过来：喝粥行吗？我说：行。然后就……
现在结婚N年了。

第七个：
　　两人打游戏打的忘乎所以，双人打，雷电，用一台电脑。　　
　　打着打着我站着打了，当时打的很投入，大概坐久了累。　　
　　“你站着不累啊，坐着打”
　　于是，被拉到了一个腿上。

第八个：　
　　印象最深刻的是：我感冒了，他带我去坐旋转的风车，风车速度不快，但是去到最高点的时候，他挨过来，对我说：“能不能把你的感冒传给我？”
　　我正呆着，他就吻下来了……

第九个：　
　　初中同学,毕业许久不曾见面,然后有一次同学聚会后各留了QQ,于是上网聊天。他：你怎么不找男朋友？我：……他：你喜欢什么类型的男生？我：只要我看顺眼就行。他：觉得我顺眼吗？我：挺顺眼（当然只是单纯的回答他蛮顺眼问题，没想的那么深）他：那就做我女朋友吧！我：……他：半小时后来你家，你出来。　　
　　半小时后他果然出现在我家楼下，一见就被搂住然后被按在墙上kiss。我当时完全蒙掉，就呆呆的盯着他看，就好上了~~~~~~~~

第十个：　　
　　我们原本是同事。有次单位聚会，刚好那段时间我心情不好，喝了很多酒，喝醉了，他住我附近，送我回去的路上我就对他说：“我再也不拒绝相亲了，活的那么累，干脆嫁人算了”。然后他就说：“那先考虑一下我行不”？我马上说行！然后他送我回家，在门口说你现在醉了，等清醒后再答复我吧。第二天他在楼上的办公室发个短信：“我昨天说的你考虑的怎样？我是很认真的，如果你不同意，就算了。”然后我回了个：“好！”我们就开始了，再后来我就成了他老婆了！

第十一个：

男：我想找个爱我的人做妻子，找个我爱的人做情人，你愿不愿意做兼职？
女：......（羞涩）
男：不说话用肢体语言也行，点头是同意，摇头是不反对，不点头也不摇头是默认。
女：·#￥%……—*（愣，继而暴走）
男：默认了？
女：我怎么就认识了你这么个家伙呢？（抓狂，最终同意）（呵呵~看到甜蜜了额... ）

第十二个：

說一個：我和bf是高中同學但從來不認識...畢業后偶然在一起打工，一天我嗓子疼，想吃冰激淩，他：嗓子疼不許喫涼的。我：幹嗎管我！他：你得聼我話。。。我：無語。。。他送我回家的路上，聊起各自的初戀~他很難受像個小孩，我哄他勸他，怎麽也不行。後來我說：要不親親你吧然後他親了我（臉）。。。快3年了~好的跟一個人似的~ （那你也挺主动的哈~）

第十三个：

我和他前12年都是校友！居然不认识！呵呵... 后来在高中校友录里碰到了。他已经读研了。我大三。。。
俩奔三的人一顿感慨。约了放假回家一起吃麻辣拌。一个月的聊天记录600多页。。。俩话痨。。。
有一天发着发着信息他突然说你K.O.了
从此深夜里有人思念 o(∩_∩)o... ）

第十四个：

我同学追他们班的女生，那个女生不同意，还说：“立刻在我眼前消失。” 然后那个男的就拉开窗户，跳出去了。(2楼) 结果，骨折了，住了一个月院。出来就成了。（这个...满强的！！！）

第十五个：

他教我高数，让我背公式，背错了，要受惩罚，然后我的初吻就被抢走了... 第一次知道接吻要把舌头伸进别人嘴里... （单纯的娃啊~(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……不过还是蛮开心的啊！！！）

第十六个：

她：帮个忙行吗？
他：帮什么忙啊？
她：帮我拿一下我的手，好吗？
他：嗯。
就这样... （就一个字~强！！！）

第十七个：

男：你知道自己喜欢的人站在面前连手都不能牵有多痛苦吗？
女：（真是挺可怜啊）.....
然后手伸了过去......
一月以后~ 男：你知道只能牵自己喜欢的人的手而不能吻她多痛苦吗？
女：（真得有点可怜啊）........
然后被吻了
终于在一起了
现在两年了（可以的！！！）

第十八个：

高考毕业之后，他邀请我去吃冷饮他：凉吗？我：凉！他：我给你悟悟! 他就强有力的抱住我打kiss~到现在有两年半了。

第十九个：

和他四年同学,一直都是很铁的哥们,后来我过生日,他说要送我生日礼物,于是就kiss了我!!!!!! 他还说以前祝爸爸妈妈生日的时候都是用这种方式的!晕倒!!!

第二十个：
当时我们还没在一起的时候，俩人一起走，我总能遇到狗的便便。在我将要踩到的那一刻，他就一把把我拉开。拉着拉着就牵手了~现在再遇到，他看着我踩上去，然后大笑...

第二十一个：
每次出去他都故意穿很少，宁夏这死天气，现在冷的要命，然后她就说，给我暖手！！！现在还是这样，以后什么样就不知道了~

第二十二个：
我的版本（男友是好学生，我学习比较烂，我们同桌）
他：好好学习！！！
我：为什么？
他：我想和你一起上大学~
我：为什么？
他：我想和你在一起~
我：为什么？
他：我喜欢你
我们好了5年了，而且在同一个城市上大学。

第二十三个：
我发消息:小排骨做我女朋友吧
她愣了半天没回
我继续:快说好,不然宰了你!
她回:- -# 好

第二十四个：

（估计那个男的老是叫她老婆~）在第N次的时候，我回答他：滚你吖的不做你老婆，你他妈外星人啊！
2小时后他问我：老婆今天咱吃什么？
我昏厥（哈哈~）

第二十五个：

想起我的是：一个星期六晚上，第一次和他出去逛街吃饭，那时还是普通同学。
吃饭时，他喝了杯啤酒。后来非要送我回家。
回到家楼下，门口就问我：“可不可以考虑做我女朋友。”我当时说：”你喝醉了。”

第二十六个：
他：想好了嘛？
我：我再想想...
他：行就行，不行的话我就再想别的办法...
我：...你不用想了！

第二十七个：
她：你跑跑那么厉害。要不收我做徒弟吧!
他：你这么笨还是算了吧。收你做老婆还差不多~

第二十八个：
我们是高中同学。高考完了，他替一个男生天天开车来我家，帮他追我。开始车上有3个男的、我、还有另一个男的的女朋友。开始是一起大家玩，后来，不知道怎么的，车上的人越来越少，最后只剩我和他了。后来在广场，他总是靠近我坐着，然后突然告诉我：做我女朋友吧！我默不做声，他就狂吻我...然后好到现在~快3年了~

第二十九个：

那天发短信到凌晨2点
我说：我有点喜欢你
她：......
我说：还是算了，我才不要比我还能熬夜的老老婆..
她：其实下午我睡了3个小时，晚上就不打盹了..
我说：老婆，咱们明天早上一起吃饭吧
她：除了豆浆油条，什么都行....
一直走到现在....

lolx, got this from xiaonei =)
quite interesting haha...
good reference material for u guys out there XD

i'm sorry...

2009-08-06T14:22:00.001+08:00

i'm sorry....
you can say i'm heartless,
but i don't regret my decision.

사랑하지마요
F.T 아일랜드

가야죠 서둘러 가야죠
미련이 눈물이 될테니
남겨진 그대 보지 못하게
좀 더 서둘러 가야죠

우네요 떠나는 사랑이
차오른 슬픔이 쏟아져
한걸음 조차 걷기도 힘들어
돌아선 채
울고만 서 있네요

사랑은 하지 마요
이별이 꼭 온대요
숨 쉴 수도 없이 아파요
사랑만큼 아프면 되는 줄만
잊는 줄만 알았던 거죠
아니죠 수천배는 더 아파요

겁나요 눈뜨고 사는게
찾아도 보지 못할테니
차라리 그댈 그리워하다가
지쳐 잠든 채로 사는게 낫죠

사랑은 하지 마요
이별이 꼭 온대요
숨 쉴 수도 없이 아파요
사랑만큼 아프면 되는 줄만
잊는 줄만 알았던 거죠
아니죠 수천배는 더 아파요

다시 다시요 안돼 안돼요
바보처럼 혼자 말해요

사랑은 하지 마요 죽을만큼
아파요 매일 눈물도 난다구요
다른 사랑 온다면 쉬울꺼라
잊을꺼라 말했었는데
아니죠 내 사랑은 안 되네요
나는요...

突然来袭的黑暗

2009-08-04T11:19:00.000+08:00

或许
我真的需要一个能够让我忘记烦恼，
让我无忧无虑，
让我能够放松自己的人。
一个乐观的人。

有时候欢乐分享给身边的人，
自己却会感到更加寂寞，
因为从来没有想到要怎么让自己开心过。

有点能够了解jy为什么会喜欢chio了…
要跟一个人生活一辈子，
还真的不容易。
他不能是一个让你感到恐慌的人，
不能是一个给予你更多压力的人，
不能是一个让你觉得跟他在一起的时候很不自在的人…
他不但能够陪你度过一切困难，而且也可以帮助你解答生活中的难题，
让你觉得生活中有了他，仿佛什么都不需要畏惧了，因为那些都不重要了。

有时候想起觉得人在找结婚对象的时候，
女生往往要找一个像爸爸一样可靠的男人，
而男生往往想要一个像妈妈一样能够呵护自己的女人。

最近看到了生活中许多的黑暗面，
有点儿失落，觉得自己若是单纯点多好，
那一切或许就可以变得更简单。
想想，人干嘛要把一切弄得那么复杂，自讨苦吃？
贪念……很可怕，
但我们却无法消灭它，只能期待在万恶中看到意思善意。

心烦的时候，很喜欢跟爸爸聊天，
因为他了解的比我确实多很多，
一大堆烦恼一到他那儿却怎么看都觉得微乎其微，
几分钟内就可找到我想要的答案。
到了美国就不能常跟爸爸讲话了，
生命中又没有一个像爸爸这么有耐心，
又成熟，能够开到我的人，一切都得靠自己了，想着都有点儿害怕。
唉，怎么越说越伤心呢。

爸爸老是说女生在这社会上总是会比男生遇到更多阻碍，
因为我们与男生不同，多了那一点儿感性，
许多方面都容易上当受骗，若修养不够肯定禁不起将来会遇到的种种。
因此爸爸从小就比其他父亲对我要求更多一点儿，
导致我少了女生的那一点温柔敏感，多了男生的那一点阳刚任性，
要懂得独立，
伤心的时候绝不能哭，
积极，积极。

最近发现自己的自信很低…因为各方面的打击，
但理性地想想后发现自己也太愚蠢了，也相通了。
那不是自己的问题，
只是缘分未到，我也不愿意胡乱地付出，
自己还没有了解到“在一起”真正的意义。
现在却很庆幸自己没有走错第一步。
想通了，也自信许多了。

那天在看综艺节目，试图让自己的头脑休息片刻，
想借由无聊的娱乐来逗自己笑，
听到了这么一句话
“其实红粉知己只是感情不够而已”
嗯，确实是这样的。
再也不羡慕他人，因为发现自己潜意识中作了正确的选择，
因为自己心中默默地在坚持着什么。
你可以说我固执，
但我很清楚我自己想要的是什么，
任何人也无法改变我为了幸福而小小的执著。

2009-08-03T12:11:00.000+08:00

sent melissa off last saturday,
didn't really cry while sending her off though many of my friends broke off in tears..
i guess the reason's coz i'm half in the sending off mood and half in the leaving mood and the feeling's just confusing. i was very much in a daze but one moment that "woke me up" was when she went in and turned back to wave at us...the reason being that it occurred to me then that i'll be doing that alone, waving good bye to my parents and friends (if they're coming) alone...hmm.

anyway. went to take my flu jab with alex today.
LOLx i was late so yeah we're fair and square now yeah? XD
the jab was really quick but he was starving so we decided to have breakfast.
was hilarious man, we were looking at the directory and decided to eat at delifrance.
after much deliberation XD
hahahahaha...so we were walking around the empty mall (since it's only 10am) searching for delifrance
and basically we just did that for wat, 20minutes? LOL
after which we realised that the boarded up area (under renovation) was our delifrance. O.O
settled for wangjiao in the end and tried the yuanyang finally ^^
was tempted to try it ever since i went to that hongkong restaurant with tianyi the other time ;p
during our mini "get-away" -GRINZ-

was thinking on my way home about this show that i watched.

if you had 2 choices:
1. a guy who's really mature, responsible, capable, and super imba nice to you, just the perfect kinda guy you'll want to marry if you're in the right frame of mind...but you lack a little bit of feeling/"love" for him.
and
2. a guy who you love, but pisses you off ever so often, one whom you'll face countless obstacles if the two of you would ever get together, like if he's of a different culture, or much younger than you, or much older than you, or cant provide u with a stable life in future...

who will u choose?
hmm...

writing for the sake of writing

2009-08-01T09:18:00.002+08:00

zomg.
it's.
AUGUST
ooooooooooooh.
myyyyyyyyyyyyy.

still a lot of ppl i wanna meet before i go but...
i'm running out of time sighx*

that tinge of something that makes everything different

stress

2009-07-31T15:17:00.000+08:00

i've never been this stressed in my life
not even a levels gave me this much stress
but at the rate this is going,
i wonder what other damage will be done.

-sighx-

shopping spree with my fashion consultant ^^

2009-07-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

went shopping today with my fashion consultant who doesn't shop with a budget. what the hack?

i tot 100/piece was a kinda conservative budget already but apparently not to him. o.0 ah wellx.

but i'm feeling really accomplished today. watched harry potter too! and wellx it's good enough for me though many gave it rather low critiques...i didnt read the book so i cant tell the diff ^^

and i realised i've got weird cravings. o.0 i need to slim down! i'm so happy i dropped a size already! hehe.. XD

more shopping awaits me!

oh yes, and i've decided that sunday's a family day so i'm not going out anymore from now on, on sundays =)

22more days left! sighx, time really flies. it really literally flies across you like nobody's business. arghx*

2009-07-23T23:55:00.001+08:00

guanhui says:
haha
guanhui says:
laxing la
guanhui says:
XXXXXL shud be tight but okay la
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
-.-
guanhui says:
at most u get XXXXXXXXXXXXL lor
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
..........
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
u *abish*
guanhui says:
haha
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
u're talking abt urself right!
guanhui says:
haha
guanhui says:
smthing liddat la
guanhui says:
just tt u swap L with S lor
guanhui says:
tt time i went to the children's section
guanhui says:
then i slipped thru the hole in the shirt
guanhui says:
haha
guanhui says:
very malu
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
wat?! i totally cant understand u now
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
wat're u talking abt?
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
......
guanhui says:
no la
guanhui says:
i went to try out the shirts at children's section wad
guanhui says:
cos i sian of infant section le
guanhui says:
ya lor
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
..........
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
oooh
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
myyyyyyy
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
goodness???
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
where does your ego come from?!?!!?
[wf] shopping is SO frustrating. NOTHING fits -.- says:
-amazed-
guanhui says:
comes from my experience in the children's section lor

zomg i REALLY wonder where your ego come from!!! gahx...

2009-07-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

just HAD to share this video...his singing's really good =) a very pure voice...
but i couldnt find another song of his that i liked =p
realised that i like guys who have sharp 虎牙(someone enlighten me on what that's called in english)
makes them so cute! ^^ haha...watever.

dieting

2009-07-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

Facebook

WF wishes she has as much determination in dieting as she had in mugging.

....

wth -.-

28 more days to go! i think! lol...

added my two roommates on facebook today...

they sound and look like cool ppl...we're gonna have a lot of fun! ^^

I'm not even leaving yet,

but i'm starting to miss home already,

2009-07-16T12:21:00.000+08:00

went to the new bakery near my house this morning and decided to get myself a cup of freshly squeezed lime juice.

o.0

ok. Was looking at the santa-clause-with-facial-troubles-look-alike-baker cutting the really big round lime and dumping them into the clean-looking fruit mixer and thinking to myself "wow this is really a healthy drink." since it's really as I would expect "freshly-squeezed-on-the-spot kinda thing"? So i paid $1.50 for this cup of lime juice and happily left the bakery, feeling happy that I'm trying out a new drink. and seriously, the first mouthful of lime juice went into my mouth and i swear i could feel my internal systems working up in protest and planning a huge "puke-it-out" project right there and then. If not for my extremely-high-leveled-internal-control-system, that mouthful of lime juice would NEVER have entered my throat even a millimeter.

WHOEVER MAKES LIME JUICE WITH JUST LIME?!!?! AND THE SKIN ON??!?!? zomg?!?! that cup of juice was like a mixture of sour+bitter+teeny-weeny-bit-of-sweetness-that-i-had-to-imagine-and-hallucinate-about-in-order-to-convince-myself-it-was-sweetness-that-i-was-tasting?!?!?! like ok, freshly squeezed, fine. but a little bit of sugar or honey at least?!?!?! it's like i might as well buy a lime myself and chew on it or something? zoooooomg blagdak;fjdgh.

>_<

If you love something,set it free,if it comes back to you,it is yours,if it doesn't,it never was.

真傻

2009-07-15T21:44:00.000+08:00

今天
我给我们俩画上了句号。

发现，
其实心也没那么痛……

很期待到一个完全没有你的地方，
开始我崭新的生活 =)
我知道你会祝福我的。
但你的祝福，
对我来说……
已经不重要了。

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me

2009-07-15T08:31:00.000+08:00

You Belong with Me - Taylor Swift
you're on the phone with your girlfriend she's upset
she's going off about something that you said
she doesn't get your humour like i do
I'm in the room it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
and she'll never know your story like I do

but she wears short skirts, i wear t-shirts
she's cheer captain, and I'm on the bleachers
dreaming 'bout the day,
when you wake up and find that what you're looking for
has been here the whole time
if you could see that I'm the one who understands you
been here all along so why cant you see
you belong with me

walkin' the streets with you and your worn out jeans
i can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
laughing on a park bench thinking to myself
hey isn't this easy
and you've got a smile that can light up this whole town
i haven't seen it in a while since she brought down
you say you're fine i know you better than that
hey watcha doing with a girl like that??

she wears high heels, i wear sneakers
she's cheer captain and i'm on the bleachers
dreaming about the day when you wake up
and find that what you're looking for
has been here the whole time

if you could see that i'm the one who understands you
been here all along so why cant you see
you belong with me
standing by and waiting at your back door
all this time how could you not know baby,
you belong with me

oh, i remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
i know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
think i know where you belong,
think i know it's with me.

something i've always liked about western music,
be it taylor swift or avril lavigne or beyonce,
is how they convey a totally different viewpoint from chinese music...
whereas chinese music has always been emo and depressed when it comes the love triangles--always about giving up and drowning in one's own sorrow,
western music tends to show a more confident and cheeky side of the story.
so here's a little confidence booster for those who're secretly in love with someone who likes someone else who likes someone elseB who likes someone elseC yada yada* =p
(though i still think you should get yourself out of this crap once someone better comes along, if not, as dearest bear bear has said, "just play along and have fun" lol wth)

有些人就像我们身边的影子，
在的时候我们没有感觉，
不在了，
我们才突然发现它对我们来说是多么多么的重要